I have all these things to say. I have all these things to say but I cannot say them here now because it is inappropriate to lay one’s soul bare somewhere someone might actually find it. I could disguise it in a weak attempt at poetry or a story where the protagonist’s name is one syllable away from mine. I could write about it as something that happened to a friend or something I read about in a book some time. I could be brave and empowering and say ‘this is my story and I don’t care who reads it’ but, as I said earlier, that’s inappropriate.

I could reach out to a friend. Let those guards down. No more pretend.

But unguarded castles are raided, or worse, captured. So, the Captain gets the same command as always – constant vigilance.

I could make revelations to those inside the castle. But that would be irresponsible. You let no one know the Queen is crazy.

What about those voices in my head? Hmm, now you’re talking!

Well, they’re talking. Fighting. Edith’s a bitch. You can’t trust anyone.

Edith’s taking over. She doesn’t care about being inappropriate. We’ll call it EXPERIMENTAL!

No! Stop!

Oh, John, you were always the voice of reason. The puss-

Shut up, Edith.

I’m hitting publish!

Edith, no!

Too late!

Edith, plea-.

Speak Out – #MuslimBan


One of my best friends said to me over coffee yesterday, “there’s no point in being this upset about such a big problem. You can’t change it.” Bless him, he meant well didn’t want me to continue being miserable. But this is an appeal to anyone who doesn’t see why some of us, though unaffected (so far) by Trump’s Muslim Ban are speaking out, and are unable to fathom the sheer absurdity of what’s going on.

You see, my outrage, my misery and my sheer disbelief are feelings I am experience without intention. But my speaking out on social media and sharing information are actions with intention. My intention is to show solidarity. My intention is to display sympathy. My intention is to engage in ideological debate about the alarmingly nationalistic sentiments spreading across the world.

I’m currently privileged enough to pursue a PhD in the UK at one of the foremost departments in my field. The thought of being barred from my life here, something academics in the US are now facing, is unbearable to me. The possibility that I might be denied a visa or a job opportunity or equal service at a restaurant owing to the colour of my skin is something I face regularly. So, when the President of the United States of America issues an unconstitutional, inhumane policy against people of a certain religion, it foregrounds my “minority” boundary. It should foreground yours too. Whether you’re a woman, a person of colour, a religious minority, or whether you’re friends with anyone who is one of such “labels”, you should speak out. People are suffering. Families are separated. Kindness is threatened. Please, speak out.

The struggle with myself

Life of a Maladroit Ambivert.

Disclaimer: I absolutely vouch for staying healthy and getting some physical exercise but only for a healthy lifestyle and absolutely nothing more.

I sometimes wonder, how many times in a day we are told, “you have too many pimples or you must not get tanned, start dressing like your gender and the one that I have to personally deal with the most – you’ve put on too much weight.” For quite a few years, I’ve been this chubby goof ball who is trying to bring a smile to everyone’s faces. In the bargain, I’ve only been told “stop sitting like a guy, cover yourself up more so that your fat is not seen, start being more feminine and the list only goes on. Everyone kept asking me, “How do you exude so much confidence?”

Today, I’ll tell you what my mind deals with every single day of my life.


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November Music Favourites

I haven’t done one of these in a while. Well, I haven’t posted anything in a while so it’s not that surprising. Anyway, here we go. My favourite tracks on heavy rotation in November:

1.  Bon Iver – Skinny Love

2. Tejas – Ruby

3. Tom Odell – Grow Old With Me

4. Catfish and The Bottlemen – Glasgow

Unfortunately I can’t find a better version. Here’s an Apple Music link, in case you have that.

5. The Maccabees – Toothpaste Kisses

There you have it. What do you think? Make me a playlist in the comments? Let’s share mixtapes.

My Favourite Links – August

My Favourite Links – August

I visited the desert. I wanted to tell you all about the arid black cracked earth and the endless horizon where you could almost see the curve of the earth and the endangered wild asses galloping away and the hot sun turning my skin to toast while the wind whipped my hair into psychedelic, annoying shapes. But I’m not feeling it. Instead, here’s five of my favourite internet links from this month:

Yoga with Adriene

This girl know how to make yoga fun and relaxing! The best part is that she’s very positive about everyone doing what they’re comfortable with. She’s got a nice sense of humour, a calming voice and a friendly face that’ll keep you motivated. So, if you’re thinking of trying out a little yoga, I’d definitely suggest starting here.

Cabochon Hotel, Bangkok

Cabochon Hotel

I recently rediscovered this charming-looking apartment hotel in Bangkok. Look at that common room! I can imagine the creativity buzzing all around on a smoky Saturday night as artists and beatniks lounge about (well, it’s more likely be full of hipsters). Read more about it here.

Lonely Girl Pancakes

Single serving pancakes

I feel this could be a book I write about my life so far. I kid. I kid. I’m not that lonely. I do love pancakes though and this does seem like a great single-serving recipe. Find it here.

University Packing List

I’m heading to uni again in a month, after a break of around 5 years! It’s going to be difficult but I’m pretty excited. While looking around for preparatory resources, I came across this great Packing List from the Student Room website. It’s pretty detailed so it saves me the trouble of starting from scratch (unlike the pancakes). Hope it helps you too.

22 Places in the UK that a Jane Austen Fan Must-See

I recently re-watched and re-read Emma for a Jane Austen book club my friends and I started. It’s wonderful how fresh the book feels each time I read it. I can’t believe I’d missed Mr Knightly’s animosity towards Frank Churchill on my previous reads. It’s so clear and apparent right from the start! I found Frank unbearable this time. What an annoying character! I also felt a little sorry for Mr Elton. He married such an awful woman I’m afraid he shall have no peace. Anyway, it was enough to make me look up this Buzzfeed post and add many of the places listed to my bucket list. Hopefully you’ll find something interesting there as well.

Until next time then!

A Beginning

Wheel of Time Series

Hey. I’ve been away. I’ve been falling in love, growing, changing, getting angry, asking questions, finding answers, mourning, laughing, and rejoicing. I’m now letting peace wash over me, gently. I’ve finished with the Wheel of Time series and it has been a monumental and life changing journey. Robert Jordan and Brandon Sanderson took me away, held me in their clutches for the ride of my life, and finally let me go today. It’s been, without a shadow of a doubt, the best reading experience of my life.

If you didn’t get any of this, just know that I’ll return to more normal blogging soon. Thanks for staying with me.

And finally:

May you always find shade, Brandon Sanderson.

May the last embrace of the mother welcome you home, Mr Jordan.

“Feminism” as Brand Positioning – #VogueEmpower

Feminism as brand positioning

The Ad

If you live in India, you’ve probably seen the Vogue India Ad starring Deepika Padukone, by now. In the ad (see below), Deepika boldly states choices she’s allowed to make as a woman, without your consent: “To marry or not to marry, my choice. To have sex before marriage or outside of marriage, my choice.”

Since yesterday, “Deepika Padukone” and “Vogue” have been trending on Twitter and Facebook. Men and women are sharing the video in the name of “feminism”, “gender equality” and “female empowerment”. Is it really feminism to proclaim a right to choices without speaking of consequences? Is it truly gender equality when a similar ad from GQ would probably be viewed as outrageous? And is it really female empowerment when a bunch of different women are laughing/ dancing/ staring at a camera while Ms Padukone spews endless, incoherent sentences in the background?

Brand Positioning

Can, what is essentially a women’s fashion magazine, claim feminism as brand positioning? A part of me wants to say no. Feminism should probably be left to something like, sanitary napkins, a product that faces a taboo that actually needs dispelling. But then again, fashion magazines are also considered taboo by certain sections of society. So, why can’t Vogue India claim feminism for its brand? Because, to claim feminism as your brand position, you have to show an established pattern of behaviour that co-relates to your position. When Vogue India regularly features women of all shapes and sizes on their cover, they can claim feminism. When they stop advocating brighter skin, they can claim feminism. When they don’t promote anti-ageing routines for twenty-somethings, they can claim feminism.

But of course, all Brand Positioning isn’t historical. In many cases, it’s aspirational. If Vogue India is aspiring to feminism, then when they champion female education charities, or help young girls love their bodies the way they are, or just stop propagating unrealistic beauty standards, I will retract this post and allow Vogue India their claim.

I will give Vogue credit where credit is due though. For whatever short time this ad trends, Vogue’s got a section of India talking about female empowerment. And that is certainly a laudable achievement. So, till the next entertaining cricket match takes its spot, let’s give #VogueEmpower its due.

A Word to Women

Think. Don’t let empty words, black and white images and pointlessly-gratifying hashtags cloud your wonderful, sharp minds. Use this as a platform to make yourself heard. Raise your objections and help people break through the shallow surface of this conversation to the real issues hampering gender equality. Let’s advise the need for education and cultural change over and over.

You can choose to keep the momentum going by simply talking about it (like I have) or you can go further and think of actionable projects. That is your choice. And if the ad spoke out to you and you want to defend it, that’s your choice as well. You’re stirring the conversation, go ahead and do it. I urge you, do something. Say something. Or maybe don’t. It’s your choice.

Live the Story

We talk about good storytellers all the time. We also talk about the good work they produce. But about the reader/watcher/listener? What about the audience? If the storytellers have the onus of creating good work, doesn’t there lie some responsibility within the audience to be good consumers? If the writer should write beautiful prose, the reader should spend time devouring it. If the actor should give a performance of a lifetime, the audience should focus on each of his nuanced displays. If the painter should portray all the magnificence life on canvas, then the viewer should gaze deep.

The Office

I’ve spent the last month binge watching The Office (US). I’ve watched 10 years of television in a month and it’s been a roller coaster ride (I’m not done yet, so no spoilers, please). Today I watched a character contemplate infidelity and I contemplated it with her, through her. I felt the pain, anguish, confusion, moral dilemma and animal urge to ignore it. I played my part as a responsible audience member. I invested myself in the characters, actors, writers, the entire theatrical.

The feeling was fleeting but in those few seconds, I lived the story. I hope you do too.