I have all these things to say. I have all these things to say but I cannot say them here now because it is inappropriate to lay one’s soul bare somewhere someone might actually find it. I could disguise it in a weak attempt at poetry or a story where the protagonist’s name is one syllable away from mine. I could write about it as something that happened to a friend or something I read about in a book some time. I could be brave and empowering and say ‘this is my story and I don’t care who reads it’ but, as I said earlier, that’s inappropriate.

I could reach out to a friend. Let those guards down. No more pretend.

But unguarded castles are raided, or worse, captured. So, the Captain gets the same command as always – constant vigilance.

I could make revelations to those inside the castle. But that would be irresponsible. You let no one know the Queen is crazy.

What about those voices in my head? Hmm, now you’re talking!

Well, they’re talking. Fighting. Edith’s a bitch. You can’t trust anyone.

Edith’s taking over. She doesn’t care about being inappropriate. We’ll call it EXPERIMENTAL!

No! Stop!

Oh, John, you were always the voice of reason. The puss-

Shut up, Edith.

I’m hitting publish!

Edith, no!

Too late!

Edith, plea-.

Speak Out – #MuslimBan


One of my best friends said to me over coffee yesterday, “there’s no point in being this upset about such a big problem. You can’t change it.” Bless him, he meant well didn’t want me to continue being miserable. But this is an appeal to anyone who doesn’t see why some of us, though unaffected (so far) by Trump’s Muslim Ban are speaking out, and are unable to fathom the sheer absurdity of what’s going on.

You see, my outrage, my misery and my sheer disbelief are feelings I am experience without intention. But my speaking out on social media and sharing information are actions with intention. My intention is to show solidarity. My intention is to display sympathy. My intention is to engage in ideological debate about the alarmingly nationalistic sentiments spreading across the world.

I’m currently privileged enough to pursue a PhD in the UK at one of the foremost departments in my field. The thought of being barred from my life here, something academics in the US are now facing, is unbearable to me. The possibility that I might be denied a visa or a job opportunity or equal service at a restaurant owing to the colour of my skin is something I face regularly. So, when the President of the United States of America issues an unconstitutional, inhumane policy against people of a certain religion, it foregrounds my “minority” boundary. It should foreground yours too. Whether you’re a woman, a person of colour, a religious minority, or whether you’re friends with anyone who is one of such “labels”, you should speak out. People are suffering. Families are separated. Kindness is threatened. Please, speak out.

The struggle with myself

Life of a Maladroit Ambivert.

Disclaimer: I absolutely vouch for staying healthy and getting some physical exercise but only for a healthy lifestyle and absolutely nothing more.

I sometimes wonder, how many times in a day we are told, “you have too many pimples or you must not get tanned, start dressing like your gender and the one that I have to personally deal with the most – you’ve put on too much weight.” For quite a few years, I’ve been this chubby goof ball who is trying to bring a smile to everyone’s faces. In the bargain, I’ve only been told “stop sitting like a guy, cover yourself up more so that your fat is not seen, start being more feminine and the list only goes on. Everyone kept asking me, “How do you exude so much confidence?”

Today, I’ll tell you what my mind deals with every single day of my life.


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November Music Favourites

I haven’t done one of these in a while. Well, I haven’t posted anything in a while so it’s not that surprising. Anyway, here we go. My favourite tracks on heavy rotation in November:

1.  Bon Iver – Skinny Love

2. Tejas – Ruby

3. Tom Odell – Grow Old With Me

4. Catfish and The Bottlemen – Glasgow

Unfortunately I can’t find a better version. Here’s an Apple Music link, in case you have that.

5. The Maccabees – Toothpaste Kisses

There you have it. What do you think? Make me a playlist in the comments? Let’s share mixtapes.

My Favourite Links – August

My Favourite Links – August

I visited the desert. I wanted to tell you all about the arid black cracked earth and the endless horizon where you could almost see the curve of the earth and the endangered wild asses galloping away and the hot sun turning my skin to toast while the wind whipped my hair into psychedelic, annoying shapes. But I’m not feeling it. Instead, here’s five of my favourite internet links from this month:

Yoga with Adriene

This girl know how to make yoga fun and relaxing! The best part is that she’s very positive about everyone doing what they’re comfortable with. She’s got a nice sense of humour, a calming voice and a friendly face that’ll keep you motivated. So, if you’re thinking of trying out a little yoga, I’d definitely suggest starting here.

Cabochon Hotel, Bangkok

Cabochon Hotel

I recently rediscovered this charming-looking apartment hotel in Bangkok. Look at that common room! I can imagine the creativity buzzing all around on a smoky Saturday night as artists and beatniks lounge about (well, it’s more likely be full of hipsters). Read more about it here.

Lonely Girl Pancakes

Single serving pancakes

I feel this could be a book I write about my life so far. I kid. I kid. I’m not that lonely. I do love pancakes though and this does seem like a great single-serving recipe. Find it here.

University Packing List

I’m heading to uni again in a month, after a break of around 5 years! It’s going to be difficult but I’m pretty excited. While looking around for preparatory resources, I came across this great Packing List from the Student Room website. It’s pretty detailed so it saves me the trouble of starting from scratch (unlike the pancakes). Hope it helps you too.

22 Places in the UK that a Jane Austen Fan Must-See

I recently re-watched and re-read Emma for a Jane Austen book club my friends and I started. It’s wonderful how fresh the book feels each time I read it. I can’t believe I’d missed Mr Knightly’s animosity towards Frank Churchill on my previous reads. It’s so clear and apparent right from the start! I found Frank unbearable this time. What an annoying character! I also felt a little sorry for Mr Elton. He married such an awful woman I’m afraid he shall have no peace. Anyway, it was enough to make me look up this Buzzfeed post and add many of the places listed to my bucket list. Hopefully you’ll find something interesting there as well.

Until next time then!

A Beginning

Wheel of Time Series

Hey. I’ve been away. I’ve been falling in love, growing, changing, getting angry, asking questions, finding answers, mourning, laughing, and rejoicing. I’m now letting peace wash over me, gently. I’ve finished with the Wheel of Time series and it has been a monumental and life changing journey. Robert Jordan and Brandon Sanderson took me away, held me in their clutches for the ride of my life, and finally let me go today. It’s been, without a shadow of a doubt, the best reading experience of my life.

If you didn’t get any of this, just know that I’ll return to more normal blogging soon. Thanks for staying with me.

And finally:

May you always find shade, Brandon Sanderson.

May the last embrace of the mother welcome you home, Mr Jordan.